Back To School

At the ripe old age of 42, I’m headed back to the hallowed halls of Cincinnati State.  And only 13 years after I dropped out.  How’s that for procrastination?

I probably could have gone back any time in the last decade.  Hell, it would have made paying that student loan off faster.  But the time has come.

No, I’m not going back for English or teaching.  I’d make a lousy English teacher, and in fact, never really got along with most of my English teachers.  (One at Cincinnati State gave me a reduced grade for an essay on being a pizza driver because I wouldn’t admit to red-lining his neighborhood.  This was the white English teacher.  The black one thought I should have turned it into a book.)

I am going back for web design.  I do a little here and there, but not enough to scare up business in the amounts I need.  I also have pretty much reached a dead end in my job at BigHugeCo.  There’s only so much you can do with computer repair before it starts numbing your brain.

I hear stories like this all the time.  Someone goes back to college in middle age.  Of course, they’re usually finishing up that last year of the Bachelor’s they never finished or earning a second degree or doing graduate work.

I’m going for my associates.

Yep.

Somehow, over the next 2-3 years, I’m going to have to just get to that first level, which I tried last time in my twenties.  At this rate, I should have my master’s and my AARP card about the same time.  I should be collecting my retirement when I get a doctorate.

Scratch that.  I’m not getting a doctorate.  Are you freakin’ kidding me?  No post-grad program should have to deal with that.  And I shouldn’t have to deal with post-grad work while explaining to my grandchildren how cars used to run on this smelly stuff called “gasoline.”

Of course, the student loans are proving a challenge.  Even with my credit rating and assets (not much, but better than average for this recession), my bank, Gianormous Bailout & Trust, has decided that owning my car, my condo, and, quite likely in the next 18 months, this house is all the cash I’ll ever need to borrow from them.  No need for them to own my degree, too.

I’ll get around it.  BigHugeCo is paying part of the bill.

In the meantime, it may mean an exit from standup comedy once more.  It may mean I focus only on writing instead of all that other stuff I wanted to do.

At least busy people are focused.  Are you?

Reader Request Week begins next week.  Feel free to toss in a request – any topic – in the comment section.