The Obligatory Year In Review

If there are two things I won’t miss about 2010, they are the midterm elections and unemployment.  The former ends in November, when reality sets in for all the obnoxious fear mongers who get themselves elected.  Yes, Rand Paul, the rest of the Senate doesn’t love you like half of Kentucky voters do.  The latter?

Working on it.

So what was bad about 2010?

  • The midterms.  This time, it was the left’s turn to get callouses on their right ear.  Should the economy improve more noticeably between now and 2012, it’ll be the right and their left ear.
  • Icelandic volcanoes
  • BP – Why are they still in business?
  • BigHugeCo downsized.  On the upside, they financed the rest of my summer vacation.
  • Snooki.  Need I say more?

So what was cool?

  • The iPad.  Whether you think Steve Jobs is the Second Coming or you can’t stand those smug bastards in Cupertino, you have to admit, the iPad brought us a cool new class of gadget.  And being a developer with an eye on doing mobile apps, nothing could be cooler than a new wave of these devices running on… Droooiiiid!
  • Unemployment still sucks, but the economy is showing a few rays of sunshine.  Here’s a hint, Wall Street.  You’ll make more money if your parasitic analysts quit telling companies to send jobs off shore.  If you have to do that, there are a pair of countries on our borders that buy most of what we export who could use the money more than India or Vietnam.
  • Shit My Dad Says – Yes, critics hate it, but it’s a cranky old William Shatner.  What’s not to love?
  • The Cincinnati Reds.  Yeah, the Reds.  After 15 years, our long, local nightmare is over.
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Putting Road Rules Up For Sale

Since making changes in the brand that is Jim Winter a couple of months ago, I decided that Road Rules will go up for sale after all.  But I’m leaving it free until June of 2011, since I originally said this was a free novel.  But now the big question.  If you have a Kindle, how much is Road Rules worth to you?

So, Roadies, you tell me. If Road Rules goes up on Amazon, how much should I sell it for? $2.99? $3.99? $4.99? Not the $9.99 the big publishers (except Macmillan) sell it at. That’d be madness! Leave your preference in the comments section.

Annual Tradition – A Very Tom Waits Christmas

Hey, gang, it’s Christmas.  And I cannot let this Christmas season pass without the annual Tom Waits post.

Enjoy!

[Originally posted on Northcoast Exile, December 24, 2006]I pulled on Santa’s sleigh
Christmas Eve was dark, and the snow fell like cocaine off some politician’s coffee table
Rudolph looked to the sky. He had a shiny nose, but it was from too much vodka
He said, “Boys, it’s gonna be a rough one this year.”

I pulled on Santa’s sleigh
The elves scrambled to pack up the last of the lumps of coal for deserving suburban brats
And a bottle of Jamie for some forgotten soul whose wife just left him
Santa’s like that. He’s been there.
Oh, he still loves Mrs. Claus, a spent piece of used sleigh trash who
Makes good vodka martnis, knows when to keep her mouth shut
But it’s the loneliness, the loneliness only Santa knows

I pulled on Santa’s sleigh
And the workshop reeks of too much peppermint
The candy canes all have the names of prostitutes
And Santa stands there, breathing in the loneliness
The loneliness that creeps out of the main house
And out through the stables
Sometimes it follows the big guy down the chimneys
Wraps itself around your tannenbaum and sleeps in your hat

I pulled on Santa’s sleigh
We all line up for the annual ride
I’m behind Vixen, who’s showin’ her age these days
She has a certain tiredness that comes with being the only girl on the team
Ah, there’s nothing wrong with her a hundred dollars wouldn’t fix
She’s got a tear drop tattooed under her eye now, one for every year Dancer’s away

I pulled on Santa’s sleigh and
I asked myself, “That elf. What’s he building in there?”
He has no elf friends, no elf children
What’s he building in there?
He doesn’t make toys like the other elves
I heard he used to work for Halliburton,
And he’s got an ex-wife in someplace called Santa Claus, Pennsylvania
But what’s he building in there?
We got a right to know.

I pulled on Santa’s sleigh
And we’re off Off into the night
Watching the world burn below
All chimney red and Halloween orange

I’ve seen it all
I’ve seen it all
Every Christmas Eve, I’ve seen it all

There’s nothing sadder than landing on a roof in a town with no cheer.