How Bacon Can Save The World

In the Middle East, bacon is forbidden in many places due to dietary restrictions. Thus most people there have not eaten bacon. Should the clerics and rabbis lift the ban on bacon, peace will come to the Middle East.

Most wars America, Europe, and Russia fight are with people who do not eat bacon. Bacon keeps the superpowers at bay.

If Hillary Clinton took bacon to Pyongyang, North Korea would freely join the brotherhood of nations.

Americans eat bacon. Canadians eat Canadian bacon. You can get the American kind all over Canada, even at Tim Horton’s. You can get Canadian bacon on your pizza or at McD’s in the US. The US and Canada have not been at war since 1812.

Bacon makes people happy. Happy people do not fly airplanes into buildings and only blow stuff up when their favorite team wins. (See Lexington, KY; Detroit; Manchester, UK.)

Bacon! The path to world peace!