Activist Judges

Dear Right-wingers,

In addition to “lies of the liberal media,” you are hereby forbidden to use the phrase “activist judge” in perpetuity.  “Activist judge” is a buzzword for “won’t give us our way by being a blind ideological douchebag.”  If activist judges exist, then Alito, Scalia, and Thomas need to resign from the Supreme Court.

Failure to comply with this ban will result in cutting off Rush Limbaugh’s oxycontin supply, an on-air wedgie for Sean Hannity, the feeding of Ann Coulter into a chipper shredder, and explicit photos of James Dobson fellating Fred Phelps released on the Internet.

Also, I will be very, very unpleasant.

You’ve been warned.

(In the interest of equal time, I’m also going to give Michael Moore a Victor Gischler cream stick.  What is a Victor Gischler cream stick?  Go read Gun Monkeys.)

(And no, I don’t know what Vic’s politics are.  I just think putting blasting caps inside a cream stick to whack someone is both literary genius and comedy gold.)

(Now go read Gun Monkeys.)