Grammar

A few things about language I want to get off my chest.

  • You can have my Oxford comma when you pry it from my cold dead hands. Dropping it is just piss-poor grammar.
  • Why is it “everywhere,” but it’s never “alright”? Does not make sense.
  • Did you know the correct usage of “nauseous” makes absolutely no sense whatsoever? If you say “nauseous,” people think “nauseated.”
  • Until someone explains to me why we have singular “you” (and don’t give me that nonsense about formal vs. familiar falling out of favor. That happened before Washington was sticking Lincoln logs in his mouth.), people just need to accept singular “they.” However, I think we can all agree the royal “we” needs to die a fast but agonizing death.
  • Kindly smack in the mouth the next person who says “most unique.” It’s a binary concept. Either it’s unique or it’s not. It can’t be more or less unique.
  • I don’t care what dictionary writers say, the word “literally” means that you’re not exaggerating.
  • Weird Al’s “Word Crimes” (despite the line about Oxford commas) is still better than Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines.” But then Weird Al’s still going after 35 years. Robin’s 15 minutes is almost up.
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