Remission: Little Brown Bottles

Last year, when I dropped 20 pounds in six weeks, I also managed to lose one of my medications. Now?

I need to really start watching my intake more closely. I’ve maintained my weight, but that hasn’t translated into maintaining my numbers as well. Where, last year, I was convinced I’d be losing all my blood sugar medication and reducing my blood pressure medication by half, I’m now up to two BP meds and two sugar meds. I suppose my addiction to Reese’s Pieces has played a role. Now, however, I’m also on a cholesterol med.

Part of my motivation to have 10-15 pounds gone by the end of the year is those little brown bottles. When you’re on HSA, they’re expensive. And it seems every time I go to the doctor, they keep adding more.

I have an additional inducement. Since 2000, I’ve used a CPAP machine, which is what keeps me from snoring myself to death. Assuming I don’t choke on a collapsed airway, my wife would be forced to smother me for the sake of her own nerves. Unfortunately, to get supplies, I now have to visit an aggressive sleep disorder specialist who likes to lecture me on the evils of caffeine, sleeping with the television on, and not coming in every three months for him to tell me to give up caffeine and quit sleeping with the TV on. “Dude, I just want a new hose and facemask. I know I snore already.”

I know I won’t get rid of the Darth Vader mask by the end of the year. I’d need to lose about twenty pounds for that. But I do want a couple of bottles off my shelf. Three of them, in fact. I’m not a big fan of better living through chemistry.

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