Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

I’ve held back on the whole Chick-fil-a thing. It’s one of those controversies that could be out of the public mind tomorrow (which would make this blog post pointless, since I wrote it on Saturday.)

Look, I understand the underpinnings of the whole thing. Dan Cathy is holding his breath and stamping his feet because he doesn’t like gay marriage. And he’s shoveling tons of cash to politicians and interest groups who will try their damnedest to make it not happen.

In short, he’s a douchebag. I get it.

But a few thoughts before I share with you why I’ve been rather silent on the subject.

  • Cathy is perfectly within his rights to do as he pleases, as long as he’s not denying employment or harassing anyone on that basis. If he is, well, then we have a problem.
  • Not every Christian is against gay marriage or thinks it’s the end of the world as we know it. If you believe that they all are, go read this, then ask me my opinion. Go on. I’ll wait.
  • Finished? Good. Now you know where I stand on this God business. (And if you still think you’re in a position to lecture me on what I believe without bothering to ask me, you’re an idiot.) Okay, here’s the deal. I have been married twice, as has Nita. In both cases, it was heterosexuality that threatened the first marriage. Nita has several gay and lesbian friends in partnerships (because Ohio hasn’t lifted the ban. Yet.) I have a cousin who’s been with the same man for a decade and a half (by my reckoning). Do we feel threatened by any of this? Is our marriage threatened by same-sex pairings? Let me check. Good communication between us? Check. Share our finances? Check. Tempted by the fruit of another? Since neither Tony Stewart nor Shirley Manson have come a-calling (both on our respective exception lists anyway), nope. Last people we had sex with? Both of them are in the wedding picture on my desk at work, and frankly, I enjoy having sex with the blonde in the wedding dress. She seems pretty happy with the dude in the suit. Any gay couples stop by to break up our marriage and take us away from each other? Well, the dog might scare them off, but I’m betting that such a marauding horde of homosexuals does not, has not, nor ever will exist. So all in all, I’m pretty sure that gay marriage does not threaten my marriage. In fact, the only times my cousin in DC showed any remote interest at all in my marriage was at my first wedding, when I got divorced, and when my brother Ziggins informed the rest of the family that Nita and I ran off to Tennessee to get married. Gee, that’s funny. All my straight relatives felt the same way. And no one protested. Hmm…

Now, what to do about Chick-fil-a.


That’s what I do. But when I want a chicken sandwich, there’s a place I go to that serves a better chicken sandwich than Chick-fil-a, and they’re open on Sundays. They have a cause, too. See, their founder was an adopted child. That seems to have worked out pretty good for him. He was one of the first franchisees for Kentucky Fried Chicken. So successful, in fact, that he started his own chain of hamburger stands. And what did he do? He promoted adoption. He wasn’t in your face about it. He didn’t make it about abortion or throw passive-aggressive bullshit at the public. He simply said, “Someone did a good thing for me, and I think you ought to consider it, too.”

To this day, Wendy’s still promotes adoption as a good cause. Wendy’s isn’t about “I hate all those people.” No one is picketing Wendy’s over their adoption stance. Wendy’s picked this cause because their founder, Dave Thomas, thought it was a good thing to do. And to be honest, that’s where I buy most of my fast food chicken sandwiches. (I have been known to stray to BK or KFC occasionally. I am not a faithful chicken eater. It’s a weakness.)

Wendy’s is about doing good, not freaking out over change.

Now that’s better.


2 thoughts on “Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

  1. The problem, as I see it, is a bunch of people not understanding the constitution or bill of rights. Cathy can say what he likes about anything and support whomever and whatever cause he likes with his own money. Freedom of speach means the government cannot legally intervene, prosecute him, harrass him, etc. Likewise opponents can denounce him for his speach and actions and encourage others to boycott his establishments through their own speach and support candidates that support their own ideals on gay marriage and crappy chicken joints. Its only when public figures like huckaby get involved and speach is being infringed (when its just being exercised by people he doesn’t agree with) that we have a problem. Unfortunately people seem to think free soeach means saying whatever you like without negative consequences. That’s just stupid. But based on the literacy level of their cows and spelling of their name, what did anyone really expect?

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