EPIC FAIL!!!

Thursday saw me drive from one end of the great State of Ohio to the other and back, all because the Attorney General’s office and the courts here don’t believe in fax machines. The end result of this road trip?

Less than two miles from Nita’s office, my car begins to lose power. Wet road? Had I doused a lead and shorted out the car in its 400+ mile run?

Blown motor.

Yes, my car made it to Columbus from Cincinnati, then to scenic Wooster, Ohio (for those of you unfamiliar with the geography of Ohio, never mind. There’s nothing in Wooster worth mentioning anyway.) and back to downtown Cincinnati only to die less than three miles from home and two miles from She Who Will Be The Next Mrs. J’s place of business.

The Wintermobile is no more.

Or is it?

I buzz Ziggins (who ironically lives near Wooster) to see what my options are. He recommended curling up in the fetal position and whining or the appropriate medication to relieve that. After that, he said, “Well, you could always replace the motor.”

A year or two ago, I’d have looked at him like he was insane. Actually, I still do. He’s my brother. I’m supposed to do that. But now?

Gas in Cincinnati is $3.79 a gallon. This apparently is the cheap stuff in the USA.

Food is… expensive.

I am taking over a house from the former Mrs. Winter while we try to offload one owned by the future Mrs. Winter.

I just bought a Hi-Def dish and box for my DirecTV, and dammit, I ain’t giving up HBO! I don’t care how long ago The Wire went off the air.

As you can see, I’m not going to be buying that Escalade as soon as I thought.*

So we found a motor – 84,000 with full drivetrain and flex-fuel capability. Same year as the Wintermobile.  This effectively knocks 66,000 miles off an 8-year-old car.

Motor’s in Toledo. The truck to haul it is in Akron. I’m in Cincinnati.

Someone’s in for a day trip, and I’m out at least two tanks of gas on a Ford Explorer.

Stay tuned for the inglorious results of this exciting drama.**

*Originally, I thought “Never.” Now it’s “Never ever!”

**Bet you wish that road trip novel would sell now, don’t you? Me, too.

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One thought on “EPIC FAIL!!!

  1. Did I tell you Ford Explorer? Sorry but it’s the giant opec friendly Dodge Ram. Hold tight on the wallet. Your azz is going to hurt after filling this boheamith up. : ) But on the other hand the winter mobile will rise up from the ashes like the pheonix! Could it be the next mach 5? Will Jim be the next Speed Racer? Tune in folks for an edge of your seat thrill ride!!!!!

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