Today’s post is…
Well, it’s strange. I debated whether to blog about this or not, but I’ve talked so much about Diane and me in the past that I can’t just suddenly go silent.
Diane and I are going our separate ways.
There. I said it. This being a public forum, I’m not going into details other than this. We’re still friends. In fact, I think we’re better friends now than we have been in a long time. But continuing the marriage would have made things worse.
We made the decision a while ago, waiting until after the holidays to tell friends and family. (My favorite reaction: “It wasn’t my fault, was it?” Effin’ chicken, dude. You’re cool.) Now that we’ve told everyone we wanted to tell and planted the seeds of gossip at BigHugeCo and The Department of Stuff You Need Not Know About (Diane’s employer), we can go public.
All the usual disclaimers apply: Respect our privacy though… yada, yada, yada.
However, in this celebrity-obsessed era – not that we remotely resemble celebrities (Thank God!) – we know some of you are going to speculate. So here now is a list of reasons you may choose from as the cause of our split:
- I want to live out my lifelong dream: Hang out and screw hot chicks. She wants to live her lifelong dream: Not living with me.
- The cats are not getting along and need to be separated.
- We are starting up a comedy podcast in the spring*, and continued living together will violate workplace sexual harassment laws.
- I like mushrooms on my pizza. She hates them. It’s just not working out.
In all seriousness, however, we do not consider this a failed marriage. We’re ending as friends on our own terms.
And really, doesn’t it say something sick about our society when a marriage is considered successful only when one spouse dies? What’s up with that?
*Actually, we are starting up a podcast soon. Stay tuned!