Edged in Blue

No more standup, that is.  I’m taking the rest of the month off from standup to work on a newer, longer set.  I’ll post events here by the end of next week.

Ain’t that the truth, brudda.  Recently, after a comedy showcase (One of those gigs where you have to be invited), a comic from Dayton told me it took him five years to come up with a solid ten minutes.  Of course, a lot of this is probably due to writing.  If you don’t have time to do it very often, it’s going to take longer for that 90/10 rule to sift out the crap.  It’s taken almost a year to get a solid five minutes, and part of it comes from my original set.

Dying?  You just drop dead.  Step off a building.  Step in front of a bus.  Be the paranoid Republican sitting next to me on a plane panicking about the swarthy guy with a mustache in the next row.  (For the good of air travelers everywhere, I’d have to jam a pen in your carotid artery.  Your estate will be paying the dry-cleaning bill.)  Or just wait for nature to do it.  We’re all headed there eventually, one way or another.

It is death that brings us to this week’s final post about George Carlin.  Today, I want to bring your attention to Jerry Seinfeld’s Op-Ed piece in the New York Times.  (Unlike Bill Kristol’s, I did not read this while sitting on the john.  Nor did I need to.)  One of Carlin’s comments just days before he died was a joke about the recently deceased Tim Russert and Bo Diddley.

“I feel safe for a while,” Carlin told Seinfeld.  ”There will probably be a break before they come after the next one. I always like to fly on an airline right after they’ve had a crash. It improves your odds.”

Of course, George forgot about the rule of three, and ironically, he was #3.  Or maybe he knew there was a bit in it whether he died or not.  You’d expect nothing less from a 71-year-old man whose last gig was only a week before he died.  Not only that, he had a whole tour planned.

My Dad went like that.  He came home from work to start his vacation.  Apparently, he’d be vacationing with Mom, who died two years earlier.  Now that’s timing, ladies and gentlemen.

Carlin’s work ethic, though, shows what it takes to make it in an incredibly tough business.  Seinfeld writes:

You could certainly say that George downright invented modern American stand-up comedy in many ways. Every comedian does a little George. I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve been standing around with some comedians and someone talks about some idea for a joke and another comedian would say, “Carlin does it.” I’ve heard it my whole career: “Carlin does it,” “Carlin already did it,” “Carlin did it eight years ago.”

And he didn’t just “do” it. He worked over an idea like a diamond cutter with facets and angles and refractions of light. He made you sorry you ever thought you wanted to be a comedian. He was like a train hobo with a chicken bone. When he was done there was nothing left for anybody.

Of course, there is nothing new under the sun.  If every comic had to worry about a premise being used before, Bob Hope would have been a shoe salesman at Higbee’s in downtown Cleveland, and Jack Benny would have been a footnote in jazz history.  The trick is to make the audience see things the way you see things.  This is why people didn’t notice for a long time that Dennis Miller was conservative or why Fox News can have its people on The Daily Show.

Of course, you do have to worry about copying someone else, even unintentionally.  My stepson thinks Dane Cook is hysterical, and his repeating one bit everytime I wear my bathrobe around the house led me to take that premise and write a radically different bit about it.  I don’t think its Dane Cook, but I had to beat the hell out of it to make sure.

Which leads us to every comic’s last bit:  Death.  We’re all going to have to do that joke sooner or later, even if we leave standup comedy.  On that, Seinfeld says:

Like death, they were just more comedy premises. And it just makes me even sadder to think that when I reach my own end, whatever tumbling cataclysmic vortex of existence I’m spinning through, in that moment I will still have to think, “Carlin already did it.”

Nothing you can really do about that.  Maybe I’ll just have “Maybe it’s…  MEATCAKE!” etched on my tombstone.

Just giving credit where credit is due.

Tonight will be the last open mic (or, for that matter, Comedy Showcase) at The Farm in Ross, Ohio until this fall. The beergarden is remodeling and installing an air filtration system to block the stench from Mt. Rumpke, seven miles down the road.

And speaking of things that stink, come out tonight around 8:30 and catch my new set!

You can find The Farm here:

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In the wake of George Carlin’s death, a lot of people have pondered who the greatest comedians of all time were/are.  Jerry Seinfeld referred to it as the Mt. Rushmore of standup.  So, if we were to recarve George, Tom, Abe, and Teddy’s faces for standup, who would be up there?

Bob Hope
Lenny Bruce
George Carlin
Richard Pryor

And if I could carve out a fifth head up there, Dave Chapelle.

Comments are open.  Let the flame wars begin.

June 25, 8:30 PM - The Farm, US 27, Ross, Ohio - Open mic.  If you don’t like the jokes, there’s a landfill just five miles down the road for them.

June 27, 10 PM – The Awful Show.  The weekly podcast of crude humor and phone pranks will remember George Carlin this week.  J will be interviewed about his thoughts on the passing of this comic legend.  You can hear the show live at www.cringehumor.net or download it starting the following evening from iTunes, Zune, Podcast Alley, or theawfulshow.com.

July 3, 8 PM - The Midway Cafe, 1017 S Fort Thomas Ave, Ft. Thomas, KY. Marcus T’s fast-growing event across the river from Cincinnati.  Worth the time just for One for the Road hosted by Mike Guns.

July 23, 7:30 PM - The Funnybone, 88 Plum Street, Dayton OH - Standup Dayton 2008 Contest.  J takes on other comics to show who’s the best.

July 25, 9 PM - Top Shelf Grille, 19908 Augusta Drive, Lawrenceburg, IN.  Great new show hosted by Michelle Minella

August 27, 7:30 PM - The Funnybone, 88 Plum Street, Dayton OH – Future Legends of Comedy.  J is a legend in his own mind.  Come on out and help him be a legend elsewhere!

(Note:  Reposted from Keyz’ Xanga blog with permission of The Awful Show’s hosts - Tha Mike, Nerraux [ pronounced "Nero"], Keyz, and Joel.  Joel is also an occasional contributor to this blog, often reposting his Momentary Lapses from the most recent show.)

Reading, PA – The Awful Show will have a bittersweet beginning to their 3rd year in podcasting with Show #106 (airing Friday, June 27th 2008 ) being a dedication to the recently deceased stand-up comedian, George Carlin, who died of heart failure on Sunday, June 22nd 2008 at the age of 71.

George Carlin, most notably remembered for his “Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV”, was an inspiration to all of the hosts of The Awful Show -  Tha Mike, Nerraux, Keyz and Joel. His undying dedication to ‘calling it like he saw it’ helped to set the stage for the “no-holds barred” attitude The Awful Show holds dear.

“For me, he was a wonderful paradox. He obsessed on the negative that all see from time to time, but by doing so he gave me hope that someone else out there felt the same way and something might be done about it.” says Awful Show host Nerraux. “He was a radical that told us we were right to question all the messed up stuff the older generation (ironically, his generation) told us was the status quo. The world is heavier now that George Carlin is gone, if you can dig it.”

The Awful Show, just 2 days before Carlin’s death, held its 2nd annual Anniversary Show. The anniversary show was almost postponed due to a lightning strike at the Reading, PA studio which blew out most of the equipment on Tuesday June 10th 2008, less than 2 weeks before it’s scheduled airing. The Awful Show is putting forth an extra effort to rebuild the studio so that the Carlin tribute cast will be of the highest quality.

“This show will be a tribute to one of our fallen hero’s George Carlin”, said Awful Show host Tha Mike. “We all have so much love and respect for the man we thought it would only be appropriate”. Tha Mike went on to say “Not even God can stop The Awful Show. Or stop all the laughter that Carlin has given us”.

The live broadcast will begin at approximately 10 P.M. Eastern Standard Time on Cringe Humor Radio (http://www.cringehumor.net/radio.html) and will be available as a recorded cast beginning Saturday afternoon from The Awful Show’s Home Page (http://www.theawfulshow.com/). It will contain many of George Carlin’s classic bits along with a phone game themed around Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV”.

The Awful Show basically started out as an idea in passing that avalanched into reality in a matter of days. In addition to the main show, the cast of The Awful Show individually records and releases their own weekly mini shows called “Awful Snacks.” A typical show usually consists of a recap of the casts weeks, birthdays, emails, vmails, Nerraux News, a weekly interview with the likes of Johnny Brennan (Jerky Boyz, Family Guy), Jimmy Pop from The Bloodhound Gang and Michael Winslow (Police Academy), to name a few.

The guys also play original weekly games against one another or with their audience called Screw Your Neighbor (SYN) or phone games Like Say It! or Price Check where they call anywhere from porn shops to Australian pet stores trying to get the clerks to say certain words or see who guesses closest to a price of an item. For more information log onto www.awfulshow.com.

Gerald So says, “I’d like to know who your comedic influences are.”

Anyone who’s seen my first set will realize my act is very much a work in progress.  I don’t really have a “character” yet, and my style is still very much in flux.  The truth is it takes YEARS to develop all that.  I’ll list four comedic influences, two well known, two unknown.

First, there’s Ron White.  White is a bundle of drunken rage that laughs at himself while he’s losing it.  Like Ron White, I don’t suffer fools gladly, but I’ll sure make fun of them.

Dane Cook.  There’s a lot of complaining about Dane Cook, and I’ve noticed much of it comes from lesser comics.  There are two things I’ve picked up from Cook - a very physical presentation and inserting a short joke inside a longer one to get a laugh faster.

Those are the well-known comics.

Jeff Jena is a frequent commenter, a regional comic, and a name some people around here know.  I took a class from Jeff, who taught me how to write comedy. 

Rich Alcorn - Rich is an up-and-coming talent who is just now getting paying gigs.  Rich and I perform together frequently, and he pulled me aside one night to point out one thing about my current set.  I have too long of a setup for most of my jokes.  Long setups lose the audience.  So the focus of my writing has been to shorten the time I setup a joke before I get to the punchline.

Off-topic:  Four hours after this posts, I will have married Nita.

J Winter live at the Oakbrooke Cafe in Burlington, KY.

Yeah.  Way out there.

Time: 8:30 PM
Admission: Free
Beer: CHEAP!

6072 Limaburg Rd., Burliington, KY, which you can find here:

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It’s probably Mt. Rumpke, which means you’re on your way to The Farm Beer Garden in beautiful (and fragrant) Ross, Ohio for Michelle Minella’s monthly comedy showcase, featuring yours truly!

Admission is free.  The beer is not, but it’s cheap.  Show starts at 9 PM tonight.

You can see it here:

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