Edged in Blue

Yesterday was a major cleaning day at Rancho Winter.  The former Mrs. Winter had vacated the previous day.  It was my turn to come in and purge the place of kitty dander and kitty fur and kitty spit.  (Still working on it.)

Late last night, I decided to finish off the day by cleaning the kitchen.  The stove was filthy, but I was out of paper towels.  What to do?  What to do?

Oh, wait.  I left my #85 jersey here when I moved in with Nita.

Now Chad Johnson has found his purpose in life:  Cleaning crap off my stove.

He’s also found his place in life:

My garbage can.

Have a happy season on the bench, Ocho Stinko.

OK, I’ve long since had it with the big crybaby.

Chad Johnson showed up for Bengals minicamp yesterday and somehow managed to make it all about him.  And on the sidelines, making sure it was all about The Chad was his agent, Drew Rosenhaus.

*Sigh*  *Yawn*  The Reds are better than their record, right?  Bronson Arroyo pulled off a win last night?  The Cyclones won their league championship, didn’t they?

Here’s the conundrum.  The Bengals can’t trade Chad Johnson.  If they do, they’re out $18 million on the salary cap.  It has been speculated (and not exactly denied by Rosenhaus) that Chad is trying to negotiate a new contract.  WLW’s Tracy Jones, who knows a thing or two about being a pro athlete, was outraged, asking since when a deal was no longer a deal?  He referred to the three-year contract Johnson signed when he was the darling of Cincinnati.

When is a deal not a deal?  Ask the useless Terrell Owens.  Who’s Owens’ agent?

Drew Rosenhaus.

If the Bengals want to focus on having a winning season, they should bar Rosenhaus from all team facilities (There are many fine restaurants downtown for Chad to meet with him, and he does own a cell phone) and bench Chad for the season.

With duct tape over his mouth.

Time to sign Shaun Alexander.

J Winter live at the Oakbrooke Cafe in Burlington, KY.

Yeah.  Way out there.

Time: 8:30 PM
Admission: Free
Beer: CHEAP!

6072 Limaburg Rd., Burliington, KY, which you can find here:

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Tonight! 8 PM! J Winter live in the Midway Cafe in Ft. Thomas, Kentucky!

Admission: Free!

Beer: Um… Don’t forget to tip your waitress.

1017 S Fort Thomas Ave, Ft. Thomas, KY

See you there!

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TONIGHT!  7:30 PM!

See J WINTER in…

CLASH OF THE COMICS

@ Funny Bone on the Levee, One Levee Way, Newport, KY

859-957-2000

Say “J Winter” at the door and get in FREE!!!

See you there…

 
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Chad Johnson is returning to the Bengals.

One more reason to sign Shaun Alexander.

It’s two more weeks before I and several other comics join Comics Care in the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life.  Not only are we performing, but we are walking.

Consider donating today.  It’s a good cause.

As most readers here know, I am both a writer and a comedian.  In my role as comedian, I have joined several other local comics in Comics Care, a way for us to share our talents while helping worthy causes. Our first event will be the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life June 12-13 in Harrison, Ohio. I and several of the comics will not only be performing but walking the Relay as well.

How can you help?

Check out my personal web page for the event:

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RelayForLifeOhioDivision?px=6266226&pg=personal&fr_id=7150

There you can find details about my part, my team, and the Relay itself. You can also donate online if you like.

This event is a personal one for me as I’ve lost two grandparents to cancer, one at a very young age. My paternal grandmother was a cancer survivor. This is my way of remembering them. Please considering donating.

Thank you

Well, not really a coda.  Matt Maupin really came home four years ago to pull this town together in a way politicians and athletes couldn’t figure out if you put it up in large letters on the Fountain Square video screen.

Just over two weeks ago, I posted my outrage that the Westboro lot were coming to town to protest at Matt’s funeral.  It was the most viewed and most commented post on this blog.  One of the points I drove home was, “This is about Matt and about pulling a community together.”

If you read the comments section, that point was driven home.  And there was nothing - absolutely nothing - anyone could do to take away from that.  The route from Lunken Airfield, the municipal airport on CIncinnati’s east side, up Route 32 to the Union Township Civic Center was lined with yellow ribbons all last week.  The Westboro lot were kept 500 feet away from the procession, their view blocked by bikers sporting huge American flags.  But the bikers weren’t there just to drown out the people who wanted to ruin the event.  Some of them rode with the family from Eastgate to Great American Ballpark for a military funeral attended by some 4000 people and shown on most local television stations.  Most of these people never met Matt Maupin, but they came anyway.

The bikers also escorted the family to the cemetery, closing it off to the public so they could have a private burial.

It was all about a staff sergeant who served his country in life and pulled a city together in death.

Sgt. Maupin, we never met, but I miss the hell out of you already.