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The Road Trip To Hell… April 16, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in WTF, Writing.
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…Begins here.

From now through April 23, Chapters 1 and 2 of Road Rules will appear daily.  The podcast will begin on May 2.

You’re welcome.

April 15: Putting On Your “Owe” Face – Owe! Oh! Oooooh! April 15, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in WTF.
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Yes, the lowest-taxed industrialized nation in the world howls with agony today as the majority of Americans rush to get their taxes done and mailed.

Some of us did ours back in February, which allows us at Chateau Nita to pour ourselves each a nice big cup of smug.  Mmm-mmm!

Just thought I’d rub a few noses in that.

And remember, if you have to pay this year, it beats that other thing that’s certain.

Unless you’re emo.

Just A General Funk. Nothing To See Here. Move Along. April 14, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in WTF, Writing.
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There are periods I go through where swimming naked in a pool full of razor blades seems to be a lovely alternative to writing another line of crime fiction.

This is one of those times.

I’ll get over it.  I always do.

MTM Cincinnati: Montgomery Inn April 13, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in My Town Mondays.
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It’s fed the city’s movers and shakers, nearly everyone who has played in the National League since 1951, former presidents, and Bob Hope.  What is it?

montgomeryinn

The Montgomery Inn

In 1951, Ted Gregory bought the old McCabe Inn in then-rural Montgomery, Ohio.  It’s star-studded future had over a century of history, however.  Ted’s newly christened “Montgomery Inn” sat next door to the Sage Tavern, which once hosted Charles Dickens back when Montgomery Road was a stagecoach road.  Chuck thought it was a good place for an inn.  Little did he know.

After Gregory opened for business, the place soon became famous for its ribs, or more importantly, it’s sauce.  Isn’t that what barbecue places are famous for?

The original Montgomery Inn expanded to take over the Sage Inn’s location as Montgomery went from farm village to bustling suburb.  Infamous Reds owner Marge Schott sold Chevies just down the street from the Inn until shortly before her death.  What used to sit along a lonely stretch of rural highway, the main drag between Cincinnati and Columbus before I-71 came into being, now finds itself mere blocks from the end of the Ronald Reagan Highway, easy to get to, and a bigger attraction than any downtown location (save the Boathouse, another Montgomery Inn location.)

The Inn is somewhat upscale, dark wood and valet parking during dinner hours.  The walls are covered with autographed photos of almost everyone who’s been anyone who dined there.  The restaurant’s biggest booster?

Bob Hope.

Even after his retirement, Hope did ads for the Montgomery Inn and had the ribs and sauce shipped regularly to his home in Palm Springs.  So what makes this place so famous?

For starters, the sauce is about the best barbecue sauce I’ve ever had.  Served on ribs that practically melt off the bone, it’s as close to heaven you can get unless you’re a vegetarian.  (But then if you are, why would you go to a place founded by the self-proclaimed “Ribs King.”)  The runner up on their menu has to be the chicken, which is spiced perfectly and equally tender.

The sauce is a family recipe from Gregory’s wife, Matula.  Matula Gregory was Greek.  So one might say the Greeks are responsible for much of Cincinnati’s diet, certainly for what puts the city on the culinary map.  The Gregory women are the keeper’s of the secret recipe.

A favorite side is the Inn’s Saratoga chips, thick potato chips made at the restaurants and served warm.  The chips are so unusual that Gregory began selling them in stores in the late eighties.  My first side of Saratoga chips was not at Montgomery Inn, but at the Little River Cafe along the Little Miami Trail.

They also serve several seafood offerings, my favorite of which is the Atlantic salmon.

One feature I only recently discovered is the Inn’s special in-house brew, Ted’s Pail Ale.  It compares favorably to Germany’s Warsteiner, but that’s no surprise.  Cincinnati is a German city that spawned Samuel Adams brewer Jim Koch.  (Incidentally, Koch bought out the old Hudepohl-Schoenling Brewery, which now makes 35% of Samuel Adams.  Hmm…  Another MTM post?)

So you’re downtown and don’t want to venture out to the suburbs?  No problem.  The Gregory family opened a second location in 1989 near Sawyer Point and downtown called The Boathouse.  I’ve eaten both at the original Inn and the Boathouse.  The food is the same, but the experience is different for each place.  The Boathouse is a unique location on Cincinnati’s Riverside Drive (formerly part of Eastern Avenue.)  It sits in walking distance of Great American Ballpark and in the shadow of Adams Landing (where Ted Gregory lived until just before his death in 2001.)  The view of the Ohio River and Northern Kentucky skyline is terrific.

There’s also another location in Northern Kentucky in Ft. Wright near the Drawbridge Inn.  I’ve eaten there once, but under the previous owner.  The store was once Burbank’s, another Cincinnati barbecue institution.  Rather fitting.  (And yet another MTM post?)

The Montgomery Inn is now venturing outside the Cincinnati area.  After decades of catering events nationwide, selling its sauce to grocery stores all over America, and even shipping its food to hungry fans across the continent, Montgomery Inn will be opening its first location in another city, the Columbus suburb of Dublin.

But no matter what, Montgomery Inn will remain a Cincinnati institution as long as the original Inn thrives.

[More My Town Monday posts with Travis.]

Relax. It’s Friday. For Monday Brings… April 10, 2009

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Dilbert.com

And When You Get Your Taxes Done… April 9, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Administrivia.
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Which should be one week from today… You will get them done before then. Right?

Riiiiight?

Anyway, once you’ve coughed up the last of 2008’s cash to the IRS or managed to wring some of it back into your pocket, Road Rules will go live.

Wash away the stress of the US tax system with a lovely tale of stolen holy relics, Columbian hitmen who now whack for the Lord, and a decadent Florida drug kingpin who is nonetheless a devout Catholic.  Because spirituality is important.

Especially when it costs the insurance company $5 million.

More details soon.

NEEEERRRRRRDGASM!!!!!! April 8, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Film.
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One month and counting…

Why I Love My iPod April 7, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Politics, Technical Stuff, WTF.
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Is it because I have everything I own that’s not still trapped on tape on a little device that fits in my pocket?

Well, that is cool and why I bought my original MP3 player, but no.

Is it because it’s Apple?

Please.  I may like their products, but I refuse to join the cult.

Is it because I can download pretty much anything from classic rock to jazz to eighties pop and nineties alt?

Well, that does give me a jamgasm, but no.

I love my iPod because, knowing that, whenever the president is on the air any given night, I can slip on my headphones the next day, crank Led Zeppelin up to ear-splitting volumes without disturbing the water-cooler pundits around me as they yack away stupidly about new world orders and the Federal Reserve being a Cylon plot to end humanity and any number of things that don’t really require all three IQ digits (or sometimes even 2 of them) to form an opinion.

And that, my friends, is why I love my iPod.

Now if you’ll excuse me…

Waaaaaaay doooooowwwwn inside!  Woman!   Youuuuuuuuuu neeeeeeeeeed…

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE!!!!!!

MTM Cincinnati: Opening Day April 6, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Cincinnati, My Town Mondays, Sports.
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There are four high holy days in Cincinnati:  Easter, Christmas, Oktoberfest, and…

Reds Opening Day.

More often than not, America’s oldest Major League Baseball team starts the season at home and often before anyone else plays.

I’ve been in Pittsburgh and Cleveland on their home opening days, but Cincinnati is the only city I’ve seen that has Opening Day.  Employers pretty much write the day off as a loss, especially downtown, as everyone’s attention is focused on the game.

And the parade.

Every Opening Day, even when the home opener is a few games into the season, the Findlay Market in Over-the-Rhine mounts the Opening Day Parade.  Since 1921, two years after the Reds took its first World Series from the White Sox in the Black Sox Scandal, the downtown market has sponsored a parade to kick off the new baseball season.  For many years, the grand marshal was Reds owner Marge Schott.  So if you’re wondering how this city could tolerate Schott’s off-color comments, which resulted in her suspension, then ouster, from baseball, consider that beloved drunken uncle everyone has, the one who is as harmless as he is offensive.  Marge was, for the longest time, our strange, potty-mouthed aunt.  Not even Bud Selig could keep her out of the parade.

In recent years, grand marshals have included Keith Maupin, father of local MIA soldier Matt Maupin (who’s become a local hero) and, this year, Reds Hall-of-Famer Frank Robinson.  Robinson’s stint is a big one for me.  He managed the Cleveland Indians for two years when I was a kid, ending his playing career as the Tribe’s player-manager in 1975.

Opening ceremonies have had everyone from Johnny Bench to both President Bushes show up to throw out the first pitch.  When local financier Carl Lindner owned the team, the Air Force and National Guard would do fly by’s in various aircraft from F-18’s to (most spectacularly) the Stealth Bomber.

I’ve been to four Opening Days, three at the old Riverfront Stadium and one at Great American Ballpark.  One of them was Ken Griffey, Jr.’s first game as a Red.  This being Cincinnati, we were treated to 40’s and rain.  The weather varies.  Some years it’s unseasonably warm.  Today calls for 43 with the threat of snow flurries.

I will be working today, but BigHugeCo has a downtown headquarters.  I can look out the window and see the parade.

What?  It’s Cincinnati.  You expect me to work at work?  On Opening Day?

[More My Town Mondays posts with Travis.]

James Madison and the Struggle for the Bill of Rights by Richard Labunski April 3, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Books.
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I embarked on a personal project to read a book about every president up to when it gets impossible to find a reasonably objective volume about him.  I thought I might have to stop at LBJ because the pitchforks come out for Nixon.  Only then did I realize he did those 20 hours of interviews with David Frost, which in turn spawned a play, then a movie.  So I’ll watch the interviews, then the movie.  After Nixon, from Ford through Bush, Sr., presidents have forsaken the memoir for simply compiling their personal correspondence.  So I’m good up to George H.W. Bush.

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