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Evil/Awesome Update February 19, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in That's Pretty Cool, WTF.
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The mechanics are in place and being tested as we speak.

Stuff will be transferred.

Stuff will be recorded.

Quoth Butthead, “It’s going to be pretty cool, Beavis.”

A handful of you already know what it is.

Two of you have even gazed with wonder upon it.

The rest of you…

April 1.

2009.

Like the trillions we’ve been shoveling into the hole we’ve dug ourselves into, it’s going to be stimulating.  Like the stimulus, we just don’t know how yet.

Well, I do.

Not the stimulus, but the Thing That Will Come Upon You in April.

Be prepared.

Shelving Another Novel February 18, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Writing.
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So I’m banging away on the new novel.  And like the Big Magnum Opus (TM) I was working on last year, I hit a wall.  However, unlike the Big Magnum Opus, this one suffered from what I call “The Swiss Cheese Effect,” wherein the plot has more holes in it than your average 2-pound brick of Swiss cheese.

I won’t go into details.  It’s disappointing, of course, because unlike the BMO, I expected to write this one quickly, have minimal revisions, and have it off to Svetlana for shopping to New York and London by summer.

OK, maybe not.

So now I’m starting on my “sellout novel.”  Or as Russell MacLean’s calling it, “high concept.”

So how does “Desperate Housewives meets Army of Darkness set at Hogwartz” sound?

Eh.  I’ll work on it.

Thank God For Minor Miracles February 17, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Life, WTF.
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My post-marital dating career was short.  Mercifully.

I am eternally grateful for that, because my brief flirtation with Internet dating was frightening.

And sooner or later, I would have ended up dating this trainwreck…

She’s out there.  There’s a Tatiana everywhere you look.  And I would have picked her up, taken her home, and made her breakfast the next day before realizing what I’d done.  Then it would have been too late.

On the other hand, Nita is a little miracle in and of herself.  I’m still trying to figure out if I used up all of my good karma to win her or multiplied it.

Watching Tatiana on American Idol suggests the latter.  I’m happy and not climbing the walls.

Sorry, Simon.

Emminent Domain Gone Wrong February 16, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Books.
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MTM Cincinnati: Carew Tower February 16, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Cincinnati, My Town Mondays.
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Most cities over 150,000 people have at least one building that defines it.  Cincinnati has two.  One is the PNC (formerly Central Trust) Tower, that white building with the blurry red-lit lettering in the opening credits of WKRP and The Edge of Night.  (By the way, it said “Central Trust” when both shows were on the air.  It now says “PNC Bank.”)  The other is the Carew Tower, Cincinnati’s tallest building.

For now.

carew01

(more…)

Happy VD! February 14, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Family, Life.
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I’ll be honest.  Up until about 1990, I’ve hated Valentine’s Day.  Prior to that, it was a constant reminder that I had no life, no job worth keeping long term, and no prospects.  And no girlfriend.  That part sucked royally.  My late teens and early twenties were, frankly, miserable.

2007 should have resumed the suckage, but that was the day the previous spouse and I closed on Rancho Winter.  Things were already unraveling by then, but getting a house proved to be a boon to both of us.  If it didn’t save the marriage, the resulting boost in credit, not to mention getting the hell out of a deteriorating apartment building, made a nice “Thanks for putting up with me for so long” present to each other.

That said, I expected 2008 to be the first of many lousy Valentine’s Days to come.  Oh, there were prospects.  And I had a decent job.  But let’s be honest.  I was in the process of dismantling my old life after almost two decades.  No matter how friendly a couple is in that process, it sucks.  Big time.

And then…

And then came Nita.  Around the time the Patriots and the Giants were preparing to remind football fans that the season ends after the Superbowl, I’d started communicating with a lady on MySpace who liked my standup work.  We’d already met briefly at a gig.  It began innocently enough.  She posted one of those surveys that everyone seems to post on MySpace.  I took the test and came up with some snarky responses.

The snarky responses became an attempt to line up schedules and see if we could meet for drinks.

By the time we figured each other’s schedule, I realized Valentine’s Day was the soonest we could get together.  I was looking for social, not a date.  But this being Valentine’s Day, I decided that a separated man and a divorced woman ought to at least spoil each other instead of watching the rest of the planet from the sidelines.

It was love at first sight.  We had three more dates that same week.  I began staying over soon after that.  Her son took to me, or at least tolerated me, surprisingly fast.  (I’m even more surprised now that I know him so well.)

Ever since my divorce became common knowledge, I got all kinds of advice on how to pick up, deal with, and (confusingly) dump women.  All of it was bad.  I simply told Nita who I was and where I was at in life.  I was honest because I didn’t know how to do anything else.

Shortly after my birthday, I dropped to my knees one Sunday night and asked her to marry me.  We married last June.

A year later?

I can’t imagine my life being any different.

Nor would I want to.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweet Rose.  I love you.

twojs

Hey! WordPress Geeks! February 13, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Technical Stuff.
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Got a question.  Can you have separate themes for handheld devices and for regular PC’s.

Actually, I have two questions for y’all.  ‘Cuz now you know what I horrible liar I am.

Does anyone know of any WordPress themes that are friendly to the new 3G smartphones, such as the iPhone or Storm?  Something that doesn’t look like total crap when it gets compressed to a smaller screen?

Email me here, or answer in the comment thread.

Forgotten Book Friday: Lady Killer by Ed McBain February 13, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Books.
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Every so often, I treat myself to a trifecta of 87th Precinct novels.  Currently, I’m reading Killer’s Wedge and Til Death.  But leading into these is 1958’s Lady Killer.  It starts simple enough.  Someone sends the boys of the 87th one of those letters made of pasted newspaper headlines reading “I will kill the Lady tonight at 8.  What can you do about it?”

Detective Steve Carella, first among equals in this long-running ensemble series, thinks it’s a crank.  Trouble is, they can’t be sure.  So Steve bewilders newcomer Cotton Hawes (introduced in Killer’s Choice apparently to replace Carella, who was too familyish to fool around for McBain’s editor) by threatening to jail a john for not paying a hooker on Isola’s infamous “Whore Street.”  Carella and Hawes are there to question a local call girl called “The Lady.”  She’s a maybe, but it doesn’t ring right.  Meyer Meyer – that’s his name, thanks to a father with a warped sense of humor – looks into a dog named Lady and a the socialite mother of a struggling writer.  Doesn’t wash with the precinct boys.  Hawes manages to track down the potential killer by spotting him in Grover Park across the street and gets into a fight with him.  The killer gets away, but leaves his stolen binoculars behind.  They don’t have a name, but they have fingerprints.

Hawes meets his assailant again tracking him to a rented apartment leased by “John Smith.”  The resulting fight looks more like Casino Royale and The Bourne Supremacy than the 87th Precinct.

This story is more about Hawes.  According to the author notes on two of the earlier “Killer” novels, McBain’s original editor, who freaked when he killed off Carella at the end of The Pusher, left.  (Incidentally, one change to that scene letting Carella live made the end of that novel possibly the greatest scene in the entire series)  His new editor didn’t like McBain’s “hero.”  Never mind that the books were about the precinct, not Carella.  The new sheriff wanted Carella out of town.  Enter handsome, red-haired Cotton Hawes, who manages to get laid in every novel, and has a peculiar streak of white hair over an old knife wound that arouses the ladies’ interest.

This story, more than the previous two and any since, is about Hawes as an action hero.  He nearly nails the killer in the park only to lose him by sheer dumb luck.  He later has a James Bond/Jason Bourne-type rooftop chase with the killer later.  McBain was ahead of his time there.

He was also ahead of his time with crime scene analysis.  Sam Grossman is the crime lab chief, and a lot of his geeky, technical tricks are what break the case as often as Hawes’ fists or Carella or Meyer’s brains.

Lady Killer is dated in its references and, of course, its pre-Miranda police technique, but in many ways, it’s more modern than a lot of thrillers written today.

Why Do We Have To Do The 25 Things Meme? We Just Did 16! February 12, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in WTF.
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Really, people.  Stop tagging me.  I have other things to do with my time besides sitting at my desk at work coming up with 25 random things about myself on top of the 16 things I came up with a month ago.

What’s keeping me busy?

Well, it just so happens that I have a list of 25 things I need to get done before doing such a meme.

  1. My taxes
  2. Sex
  3. My laundry
  4. Sex
  5. My homework
  6. Sex
  7. The new novel
  8. Sex
  9. The novel I told my agent I’d work on after that
  10. Sex
  11. Several book reviews
  12. And since Valentine’s Day is coming up, sex
  13. There’s a six pack of Bass Ale I haven’t finished
  14. And then I need to start another one
  15. Soon as I go buy it
  16. And before I get any of this other stuff done, I really ought to go have sex.
  17. Translate War & Peace into Klingon
  18. Toilet paper John Boehner’s house
  19. Toilet paper Bill Cunningham
  20. Clean the lint out of my navel (since I seldom gaze at it)
  21. Blow my tax refund
  22. Celebrate my new government-funded purchases with sex
  23. Get in line for the Blackadder movie
  24. Purchase an extended-range hybrid
  25. Sex, cuz I need to unwind after finishing everything else on this list.

Not an exhaustive list, but it keeps me busy.

Grab That Cash With Both Hands And Make A Stash February 11, 2009

Posted by eviljwinter in Books.
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Marcus Sakey’s latest, Good People, is an underrated book that hasn’t had nearly the attention it deserves.  Find out why in my latest review for January.