The Wire Endgame March 10, 2008
Posted by eviljwinter in Television.add a comment
I won’t spoil it here. All I’ll say is the finale of The Wire had its share of flaws, but was well worth staying up late to watch. (Yes, I have a DVR. But no, I couldn’t wait until Tuesday night to watch it.)
I’d made several predictions about the characters’ fates. I was wrong about most of them, and I’ve never been so happy to be wrong.
I will say this. I like where Carver lands at the end. And the rest?
BG fans, remember when the Hybrid keeps saying “All this has happened before. And it will happen again. And again…”
David Simon and Ed Burns had the same thought, only amped up to the nth degree.
Thank you, David Simon. Thank you.
Clue #1: Doesn’t Do His Homework March 9, 2008
Posted by eviljwinter in WTF, Writing.add a comment
When Northcoast Shakedown was in print, I used to get all sorts of emails from people allegedly wanting to help me.
Agents who would get me into Simon & Schuster “for a small fee.”
“Publishers” who wanted to show me a new way to publish. (Yes, I’ve been solicited by PublishAmerica.)
And publicists. Mind you, I approached my publicist, mainly because she had a client list.
This guy, Milton Kahn, did not, despite the raves of his email:
Dear James:
I would like to make you aware of my public relations company. My clients have been featured in publications numbering Parade, People, Entertainment Weekly, Time, Forbes, Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, and USA Today; as well as television shows such as Oprah, The O’Reilly Factor, Good Morning America, C-SPAN, CNN, CNBC, etc.
Among my most recent PR campaigns number the 2007 blockbuster, Stanley Alpert’s The Birthday Party: A Memoir of Survival, published by Penguin and acquired by Tom Cruise and Paula Wagner to be filmed for United Artists, the 2006 World Almanac Book of Records (which outsold rival Guiness Book of Records by a 4-1 ratio), and such other book campaigns as the Personal Finance number one BN.com bestseller, David Latko’s Financial Strategies for Today’s Widow (Simon & Schuster) and Thomas Sawyer’s highly acclaimed novel The Sixteenth Man (IUniverse)…
[Cue needle scratching across vinyl record] Um… Milt? Did you just say “iUniverse?” You mean the printer? And why are you emailing me now? When I have nothing in print, and the only thing in my backlist is a novel I now refer to as “allegedly published.” (‘Cuz the publisher was only allegedly a publisher. Get it? OK, I said I wouldn’t talk about that anymore.)
Then it hit me. The PWA member directory came out. This is a useful little item, especially if you’re a Shamus judge or an officer or you just want to send Bob Randisi a Christmas card. Somehow, Milt got a copy, because I got the email less than a week after it came out.
But where have I heard Milt’s name before?
Ah, yes! Here.
So what’s wrong with this picture?
Does not use proper business name of prospective client. (No, it did not originally say “Dear James,” already a tip off.)
Does not check to see if prospective client has anything in print or has signed a deal.
Does not check the blogroll of Lee Goldberg’s blog or this one.
Does not have an actual client list.
If I’m not mistaken, publicists generally do their homework first. The real publicist I worked with a few years back did. Oh, yeah. Forgot. PJ Nunn has a client list. Yeah, that was kind of a hint she knew her stuff. Where’s yours, Milt? The vague list of unverifiable claims doesn’t cut it.
Thanks, Milt, but I already found someone to financially rape me. My mortgage broker. I get a house out of the deal.
The Return Of Reader Request March 6, 2008
Posted by eviljwinter in Administrivia, Reader Request.add a comment
Back on the old Northcoast Exile, I would periodically do Reader Request Week, usually to get posts in the can to show up in weeks while I was away.
I liked that concept and have decided to bring it back, only on an on-going basis. So if you have a topic you want my (totally unqualified) opinion about, use the comments section and have at. When something strikes my fancy, I’ll post about it.
“Take down the blog” is not a valid request. It is, however, grounds for IP banning.
How To Get Rid Of Roaches: Send Them To Rural Texas March 5, 2008
Posted by eviljwinter in That's Pretty Cool, WTF.Tags: eco-friendly, roaches, Texas
1 comment so far
Roaches. Nasty little buggers. At my last apartment, they had me eating out for a week while I killed them off with bowls of boric acid-laced sugar. (“Look at that. They love it! Just like it says in the encyclopedia!*”) We got rid of them.
Along with about two weeks’ worth of groceries.
In Texas, however, the roaches have gone to work on the farm. Yes, if you want to get rid of the pests destroying your cotton, soy beans, and tomatoes, send in the roaches. Apparently, the gross little critters do more than let you know you have an unhygenic neighbor somewhere nearby.
Roaches: They’re what saved breakfast.
*Apologies to Dave Chapelle
Primary Day In Ohio March 4, 2008
Posted by eviljwinter in Politics.Tags: Jean Schmidt, Ohio, primary, Steve Black
2 comments
While I am happy that we finally have a slate of presidential candidates who don’t make me want to research Canadian citizenship (I’m liking Vancouver for the weather), I’ll be happy when today’s festivities are over.
No more robocalls. No more junk mail. No more Bill Cunningham whining about John McCain (until the convention).
I spent Sunday at Nita’s house. A Clinton campaign worker came to the door. The dog went after him. I got the dog back in the house and got in her face, saying “Who’s a Republican doggie? Is it Girl? Is Girl a Republican doggie?” She licked my face.
So I swatted her on the nose and said, “Bad dog!”
I am an Obama man, after all.
The presidential campaign hasn’t been too bad. The candidates haven’t gotten in my face demanding my vote.
The presidential candidates, I mean. Congressional?
On the Republican side, Jean Schmidt is fighting to keep her seat in District 2. I’d love to see her go down except…
Her opponent is Tom “Dr. No” Brinkman, who twice literally got in my face demanding my vote. Brinkman is opposed to just about everything. He’s so conservative he makes Sean Hannity look like Abby Hoffman. Not good. So I find myself in the unenviable position of rooting for a vapid harpie to keep her seat just a little bit longer.
Unfortunately, on the Democratic side, there’s Steve Black vs. Victoria Wulsin, the woman who almost took Schmidt’s job once. I liked Black’s blue-collar, anti-outsourcing message. It hearkened back to my days in Cleveland when saying “Fuck you, Corporate America” was not only popular, it was a survival skill. I decided, since I’m voting Democratic this year (Memo to Howie Dean: Don’t get used to it. I’m back to solid independent next primary season. Deal with it.), I’d decided to vote for Black.
Until Stevie Boy decided to run the mad scientist ads. Victoria Wulsin, a respected physician and protege of Dr. Henry Heimlich (Yes, that Heimlich, he of the famous maneuver), took part in a controversial, but promising, AIDS treatment involving malaria. Questionable? Maybe, but hardly malicious. Black, however, stole a page from Schmidt’s playbook and started running ads suggesting Wulsin did this in a basement dungeon among Van der Graff generators with a hunchbacked lab assistant named Igor (or is it Eye-gor?) I’m surprised he didn’t dub a Dr. Evil laugh over her voice in the process.*
Nice Steve. You lost my vote.
McCain vs. Clinton? Spirited, maybe a little personal, but mostly issues centered.
McCain vs. Obama? Definitely an issues debate. McCain has said as much, and Obama has demonstrated it.
Steve Black vs. Jean Schmidt?
Can someone send me real estate ads for Vancouver? Or at least the West Side of Cincy?
UPDATE: As of 11:15, Ohio is too close to call between Obama and Clinton. (CNN is calling it Clinton, but Cincinnati.com is holding out.) District 2 is going to be Jean “Cut and Run” Schmidt vs. Victoria Wulsin again. If it’s any consolation to the gent who took issue with my assessment of Wulsin, I voted for the third guy on the slate. Yeah, I threw away a vote, but it’s kinda hard to vote for the Libertarian or the Green on a straight party ballot. Won’t be a problem in November. Meanwhile…
Come on, Barry! Take Texas!
UPDATE: 11:30. Oh, well. Hillary was always ahead in Ohio anyway. Texas, Barack. Texas.
*Blackie, Shitty – Er, um Schmitty, if you use that idea, you owe both me and Mike Meyers money. Cough, you cheap, Chicago-style political hacks.
An Apology March 3, 2008
Posted by eviljwinter in A Momentary Lapse, Administrivia, The Awful Show, WTF.add a comment
We here at Edged in Blue are very sorry we let Joel’s latest Momentary Lapse slip through our stringent quality control. It violates our strict “No Phallic Mascot Photos” policy, instituted on the old Typepad blog after J found himself in the men’s room at BWI only to have Senator Larry Craig* knock on the stall next to him.
As such, we are hereby suspending Joel and will not allow him to post again until next Saturday. We regret any inconvenience this has caused and would like to offer readers free use of the comment section to post the flatulence joke of their choice. Have at.
*Or was it Dick Cheney? We always get those two confused.
and now…. a momentary lapse, with joel. March 2, 2008
Posted by joelawfulshow in A Momentary Lapse, The Awful Show.add a comment
i’ve always thought of a handshake like someone giving me a handjob….
one body part grabs the other…. it pumps it up and down vigorously…. until you’ve throughly said, “hello.”…. all over the back of their hand.
